After returning back to his beloved football club, Everton FC from Manchester United, there was something noticeably different about Wayne Rooney.

After all hype and talk of his return had settled down, it was only then staff at Everton FC realised that Wayne had returned with more hair on his head than when he left the club back in 2004.

One of the long standing Goodison Park canteen staff, Marge Meatstack told POW:The Fellaini hair

“Well we didn’t really notice at first, but then we saw Wayne brushing it whilst he was walking around the club, and now we just can’t stop looking at it. It’s so fluffy, it’s a miracle.”

Our POW Footy reporter, Ned Shankstaff decided to track down Wayne to question him about his hair growth.

After days of searching, Ned caught up with Wayne coming out of the local chip shop with a sausage dinner, he explained:

“Well I was just fed up with having no hair and my room mate, Mario Fellaini had loads of it. He was always moaning that his head felt dead heavy. Anyway, i’d wait until Mario fell asleep and I’d chop bits off and stick it on mine. It took about two months of taking bits, but I’m happy with it now, I look dead sound don’t I?”

When asked what he would do, now he had left Manchester United and no access to Fellaini hair if he needed more, Wayne Repiled:

“Not sure, to be honest I’ve always thought about going blonde, Ronald Koeman has proper nice hair so I might ask the gaffer for some.”

We called Mario Fellaini for a response, he told us: “Feed me. Feed me the blood from a virgin goat.”


Report by: Mark Grabalott